Escape From The Pageant

'Prince Harry' Waiting for the Pageant to Begin

Hip, Hip, Hurray!  Hip, Hip, Hurray!  Hip, Hip, Hurray!  The cheer for The Queen has gone out.  The Jubilee Bells are ringing.  People are clapping.  And, look, there's the New Zealand contingent paddling past Her Majesty - she on the majestic Royal Barge and they in their waka.  The sights of the Thames Jubilee Pageant are simply marvelous.   And, we get to see it all right here - in our living room - on our TV.

We don't live far from the Thames.  In fact, we have just come back from the river.  It would have been nice to watch it all live, but it's damp, it's cold and well, there's that crowd thing.  The BBC announcer just described the atmosphere as "electric".  I can't disagree if he meant the type of 'electric' that comes from sticking your finger in the wall socket.

Jubilee Campers Staking Out Their Claim 24 Hours Early

Rob had to work early this morning, but he was home by eleven.  We had some lunch and decided to go down to the Thames around 12:30.  Rob didn't want to go "so early", but with 2 million spectators expected I just knew we were probably too late to get a decent spot anyway.

On my reconnaissance mission yesterday morning, I had found people setting up tents along the Embankment.  So, if there were people that keen yesterday, there was little hope for late comers like us.

Still off we went.  We walked over to Westminster.  I had wanted to check on the campers to see if they'd made it through the night.  I'm not sure they did, because I had run into a scene where a policewoman was talking to a group of worried campers.  I got the feeling it may not be all that legal to squat overnight on the Embankment.

Westminster on Jubilee Pageant Day

We made it to Parliament Square, but almost everyone in that huge crowd was walking the other way.   So, we turned around and went with the flow.  The streets were all closed.  So, moving along Millbank wasn't bad.  Rob hopped up on a traffic island by Victoria Tower Gardens.  He suggested we go over to the other side of the river, because there were fewer people.  I didn't believe him and was shocked to see he was right when I jumped up too.

We joined the human herd at Lambeth Bridge with a view to crossing there.  We queued.  They were searching bags and patting people people down.  That made Rob wonder.  So, when we got to the searcher, Rob asked if we could cross there.  The answer was a firm, "No!"  Now, I don't know how they would stop you leaving on the other side, but we decided to walk down to Vauxhall Bridge anyway.  We knew we could cross there.

One of the Big Screens at the Jubilee Pageant

The herd was thickening up along that stretch of Millbank.  It was five deep and stationary all along the river bank wall.  It was moving but with difficulty in the road.  It was quite a colourful scene - loads of flags, kids with painted faces, masks, and hats.  They also had three big screens set up along this route.  All were playing different documentaries about Her Majesty's reign.  So, that helped to thicken the crowd.

Still, we made it to Vauxhall Bridge without too much difficulty.  The bridge was still open for vehicles and people.  They had the normal footpath blocked off with a high fence and you needed a pass or something to get on it.  We didn't have one.  So, we joined the herd trying to cross along a closed lane of the road.

All That Space But No Ticket

It was a tight squeeze, but moving.  Although, it was not moving at a pace I was comfortable with, which is why I hate crowds.  So, at every opening that came up I pushed ahead of a few slower moving people - Rob being one of those.  He tends to stay with the herd in these situations - never in a hurry.  It defeats my pushing ahead because I have to wait at the other end, but it lessens my frustrations with slow moving humans.

Eventually, he caught up and a decision was made to go right.  Now, left would have taken us back down the Thames to where we saw those empty spaces, but there's this thing with Rob.  He's always looking at the bright side of things.  Like when we are looking for a parking space in a filled car park building.  He will go past a perfectly good open space, because there may be something closer to the lifts.  Well, today, 'right' might offer a better viewing spot...

It wasn't to be - people everywhere - packed ten or more deep in the few places where buildings weren't right up against the Thames.  I finally said, I was going back the other way.  We entered the herd again, but this time going the wrong way.  That's not the best way to herd, but we eventually made it back to Vauxhall Bridge.  Being the pessimist of the relationship, it was at this point that I said to Rob that with all these people there must be a reason that area we saw was empty.  Even if you don't need a ticket to get in, surely it will be filled by now.  So, I suggested we go home and watch it all on the telly.

Vauxhall Bridge Herd

I reckon he was thinking the same, because he quickly agreed.  And with that we rejoined the human herd crossing back over the bridge.  It was way more cramped now.  The space between the fence protecting the private party on the footpath and the metal barrier designating temporary footpath from road was filled to capacity.  There was no pushing forward this time.

Halfway across it all just stopped.  Now when we moved, we were just inching.  After a few minutes, it wasn't just me getting annoyed with the pace.  Others in the herd were grumpy too.

Along the private party footpath I saw two policemen with machine guns walk past and thought those would do the job - no one had to get hurt, just fire them in the air.   Oops, I hadn't just thought that.  I'd said it aloud and I noticed a disapproving look from the woman next to me.  The herd was in no mood for jokes.

We were stopped again for some time and then a young guy walked swiftly along the road on the other side of the barrier.   It only takes that one rogue buck to start things off and that had done the trick.  Next two young couples behind us jumped over the barrier into the road.  Then we saw more people walking on the road.  The herd had broken through.

Just after Rob said, "They're going to lose control of this soon," I saw an old lady start pulling up on a section of the barrier.  She didn't succeed but I thought, here we go.   Now that the herd was spilling into the road up ahead the the pace of the herd had picked up.

We were getting close to where the herd had broken through.  And, then we were there.  Next thing you know, these two old bucks were forced onto the road with a splinter from the herd.  'They' had certainly lost control.

A Pageant Boat Seen The Day Before

A young little security woman came up the road telling the herd to move back, because it was still an operating road.  The herd moved on.  The cars would have to wait.  When we got to the other side of the bridge there was a line of about five cops - backs to us and facing the crowd stopped at the entrance to the temporary footpath.  Those people were just standing at the entrance trying to get a glimpse of the empty river and more importantly impeding the movement of the herd.

When I cut between two of the cops to get off the road, a policewoman smiled.  I said, "You know, it's these people here that are causing you to lose control."  Her reply?  "Yes, it's chaos."  Clearly, there was no action going to be taken.  The herd had won.

Rob and I continued down Vauxhall Bridge Road toward the supermarket.   There were an amazing number of people heading the other way toward the bridge.  Crowd control was not going to get any easier, but we were free and on our way to pick up dinner and then watch all the excitement from the comfort of our nice warm living room.