Where Has October Gone?

Autumn in London's St James's Park

It's Halloween and I was thinking today as I was walking through St James's Park on the way to a shop that I haven't written a thing since mid-September.  Then to drive home the point, I just checked emails and an avid reader had sent an email to say that he was disappointed that I hadn't written anything for six weeks.  Ok, so, it was a friend actually, but good to know some people are checking in.

To tide over my one adoring fan, here's a quickie.  Let's call it the Tale of the Odeon:

One of our visitors wanted to go and see Skyfall on Monday.  I've been out of the movie habit for a few years now, but conceded.  Since we haven't been to a movie since we arrived in London, I couldn't even think of where  a cinema was.  So, Rob asked around the office and I got on the web to figure out the where and when.  It's not as easy as you'd think when you don't know how it all works locally.

The office advice conflicted with the web advice, but eventually I settled on the 1:30 showing at the Odeon at Leicester Square.  We hopped a bus and then walked a little ways to the cinema.  The plan was buy tickets, have lunch then watch the movie.

It was about noon when we got there.  We joined the ticket queue with about twenty people ahead of us.  More joined behind us and there was one woman in the ticket booth.  Progress was slow.  As one neared the booth one started learning the drill.  It went, "I'd like x tickets for the one thirty."  The woman would say, "There's only the side and behind the screen," as she pointed to the theatre layout on the window.  Then the purchaser took their time choosing the best lousy seat.

The guy two ahead of us finally got to the window and added a bit of new flavour.  He wanted tickets for 8:30 pm the next day.  The answer was the same.  There weren't many seats left.  He asked about the earlier showing.  That was around 5pm and indeed they had better seats.

He wanted two tickets.  She printed them as he paid.  She passed them through the window slot.  He looked at them.  "Ah, I didn't want tickets for the 5pm, I wanted them for the 8:30," he said as he handed them back through the slot.  I'd heard him agree to the five something, but the woman apologised and took them back.  She said something into her walkie-talkie and we waited.

At this point I thought it wise that I don't own a gun, because I was ready to use one.

Eventually, a man in an Odeon blazer arrived.  Swiped something through the computer and new tickets were on the way.

We went back to the old drill for the people in front of us.  Then it was our turn.  Unlike just about everyone in front of us and having heard the same damn drill over and over, I'd checked the seating chart on the window in front of the non-staffed ticket window.  So, I just told her which of the lousy sections I wanted and said give me something on or near the aisle.  With breakneck speed I was holding my tickets.

It was 12:30 now and we needed lunch.  Fortunately, there are plenty of eating establishments around Leicester Square.  We picked Garfunkels.  They're nothing to write home about, but the one time I'd been to one before the service had been fast.  And we needed fast, but unfortunately not all restaurants in a chain are the same...

With stress building as time ticked by, my 70-something companion gave them a bit of a hurry-up and lunch finally arrived at 1:04.  I asked for the bill then and we wolfed lunch down and headed back into the Autumn chill.  As we turned the corner, we viewed a massive queue in front of the cinema.  It was the queue to get in.  We followed it along the block and around the corner and finally found the end and joined the herd.  It was about twenty past.

About five minutes later and with another one hundred people behind us, the herd started to move.  And, it moved quickly.  As we turned the corner and could see the doors, we could could see why something was finally happening quickly.  The cinema had a lot more doors and a lot more people collecting tickets than they had selling them.

It started to rain.  The herd squeezed together trying to reach the shelter of the cinema just a little faster. Another door the rest of the herd hadn't yet noticed, opened.  We ran for it and were in, just a few drops wet.

We were direct to the stairs and up the steps we climbed.  Walked past the next queue formed for popcorn, etc and into the theatre.  We were in the balcony.  An usher was checking seating at the top of the next staircase, which slowed things down, but probably sped things up in reality given the size of the place and most people had no idea where their seats were.  Having been directed, we walked up more steps and finally, we were seated.

I'd expected to be cramped and have people crawling over us for their seats in the middle of the row, but the fact was despite the hundreds in the herd, the theatre could have accommodated another whole herd.  The Odeon Leicester Square is huge.  So, huge in fact, that from where we were the screen looked like a flat screen TV in someone's living room.

The trailers had ended and the funny clip reminding people to turn off their mobile phones had just finished.   On cue, the muffled sound of a mobile ringing started.  It was coming from the last row, the one behind us.  Someone hadn't heeded the warning.  Next there was the crash of plastic and nacho chips hitting the floor.  Then some muffled struggle with a coat and finally the phone was dead.

A couple of minutes later an unsuspecting usher with a torch was bringing up a lost customer to his seat and the woman behind us whispered him over.  She handed him her now empty nachos plastic tray.  He took it, silly boy.  She said she'd dropped it and could he get her another.  She didn't want to miss the beginning of the movie.  He was stunned.  I laughed quietly.  You should have seen his face.  What to do finally registered.  He handed the tray back saying he was sorry but she'd have to go get it herself.  I laughed less quietly.

The movie started with a bang as you'd expect for a Bond movie.  It was gripping is all I'll say - don't want to ruin it for anyone.  Anyway, a half an hour in, hunger finally won out and the woman behind headed down the steps.  A few minutes later she returned with a new nachos tray.  A couple of seconds after that, there was the sound of fumbling around in a purse and then, wait for it... the crash of plastic and nacho chips hitting the floor.

It wasn't appropriate I know, but I laughed loudly that time.

Skyfall was great, but not all of the entertainment was on the screen.